Apartment, Work, and Life So, I won't lie to you, there's a specific shift manager at my job that has been extremely difficult to work with. She has no tact. She does things her way, and it is her way or the highway, even when her way is opposite what the training manuals say. She's rude. Sometimes bitter. It's been difficult. Bonnie Ruth works there with me; and we were going to start writing down accounts of every 'incident' because when we report these things to the manager, she doesn't do anything(we've decided its because she's scared of Shift Manager). That way if we called higher ups, we'd have a list. But then I started thinking. If I know Shift Manager thinks she's a christian, but I'm pretty sure she's not, why am I expecting her to interact with others as though she were? Why am I thinking in the terms that she should know and do what is right in the little things? So I started praying for her(only after I came close to cussing her out last week, lol). Since then, the woman has bought me lunch. LUNCH people! And she hugged me when I came to work yesterday. HUGGED me! This woman is never nice unless she's telling you crap about other people, and I haven't heard a peep. Thankyou, Jesus. I love prayer. people don't even know how they can't help changing for the better ;-)
Word and Church Since I last posted, we've had our kick-off service(hurray!), and from what I hear, it went splendidly! I was in Ohio, surprise to Christiann. Coming back the next saturday night to church, there definitely has been alot of new faces, and I love seeing the change in people! Seeing that they feel at home at church. AT HOME! Not at playing church, but at home being the church! So. Here's the thought for this time... I've been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and it's taking me WAY too long to finish. I've been reading this book since before I left Michigan. Maybe Texas is making me slower. Two quotes from the book:
1)Francis Chan, after recounting the parable of the sower: "Do not assume you are good soil."
2)Chan quoting Tim Kizziar: "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
So after reading Kizziar's quote in the book, I felt pretty smart. I had thought that in different words(so what if his words were better, I totally thought that thought. Dibs!) Now here's the still forming thought. Within services, I have heard many times the phrase, 'now don't look at your neighbor, look at your own life,' or 'look in yourself, don't be thinking of your friends with this issue,' etc. Guess what? I often still think of my friends. When scripture tells us not to compare ourselves, guess what I do? I decide I know the falacies and failings of those around me. I know their weakness. They told me that that one time... That church over there does it this way, not saying we're perfect, but... Or, often this as well: Why do they(refering to our own church leadership) do it this way? Don't they know that is not how it's supposed to be?
Do we confront issues within our own body? Seldomly.
Why do I so easily assume when reading the parable of the sower that I am the good soil? Have I sat in a church pew so long that I am always the perfect follower in Jesus' stories? So this is what I'm doing different: I'm deciding I'm probably not the good soil. But I'm also trying to dig out the rocks in my soil, weed out some thorns, etc. We all know that they're there in our own lives, often we've even had people confront them. But I know that I often write it off with, "oh, that's just the way I am." sometimes even replacing 'I am' with 'God made me'. Maybe I'm shooting off my mouth here, but I doubt God was a know it all, and I kind of am. lol. Yes. that was me admitting that. I know When we expect other people to go the extra mile to get to where we are, why aren't we deciding to take the first step, and many more even if that other person never takes a step towards us? Where in scripture does it say that loving one another would be easy? Where does it say that it's easy to see what God sees in people? To see their best, and their potential? For me, It seems to be that the one I do that most with is myself. The other soil. So, How do you and I become good soil.
And this time. Please answer this question(and ask this question) only of yourself.
Work and Life Love living with Dawn, and work has been great as I've been working more night shifts. There are some 'kinks' that are coming to light with some people, so prayer for favor would be greatly appreciated. I'm learning new things every day, and this week I started a relationship, a love affair if you will, that I can already tell will be long term. It's name is Verona. It's dark sweetness blended in South America and Asia Pacific.It's a Bold, beautiful coffee. Yes. I can now drink black coffee. I feel a little more legitimate as a starbucks employee now, lol. Got a few things coming up that I'll update on next time...or the time after that.
Word and Church So, it's been a while since I've written in this, and there is a reason. I've been formulating. Collecting thoughts and trying to organize them to some cohesive structured topic. So here it is. There's this feeling I've had, and I've had it for a long long time. It's not really a nice feeling, and I find it within myself, and MANY of my peers. It's a lack of planning. No. This is not coming out of the OCD side of me, I am not telling you to get filing cabinets and organizers to make me feel better;-) I'll explain.
I have this inclination to type words into Microsoft Word and find all the synonyms that I can, just for kicks. Most of the time I don't even use them. So. Having collected most of my thoughts by today, I typed in the word 'dedication' in Word and i got 8 words in return. Devotion. Commitment. Enthusiasm. Keenness. Perseverance. Allegiance. Ardor. Loyalty. What I love most about all of these words is that none of them have a 'showing-up' connotation. All of them imply purpose, direction, and a level of thought applied to each action for the purpose it has chosen.
When I moved to Australia I had a lot of friends promise to call, promise to write, promise to keep in touch. I'd say 1 or 2 of the 20+ that said they would actually did. When I moved home something similar happened with my friends from school. Updates are periodical at best. And most people feel that they've been neglected because they haven't gotten many calls, instead of taking initiative and making calls themselves once in a while. And then I moved to Texas, and a few more people have been a little bit better, but it's not too far off.
Within our chosen careers this happens as well. We go to college and expect that someone will 'find' us, that our dream job will magically be handed to us on a platter. We start working at a church and subconsciously decide that if we show up most of the time, our ministry will expand and we will achieve that 'humble' brand of christian fame. We read our bible periodically, learn some key terms and verses, maybe attend a christian college or work for a christian-owned organization, and we expect our relationship with God to flourish.
I had a Biology teacher in 10th grade that would tell us at the start of every chapter: If we fail to plan, we have planned to fail. Why don't we use our minds when it comes to our relationship with Christ? We don't interact most of the time, we REACT. I think what I'm trying to say is this: When was the last time that you actually decided to be mentally Keen(not in the excited sense, in the aware sense) and enthusiastic about the direction you want to go? Most of us can recognize those things in others that we want to become, but few of us do the work of emulating even if we can copy the correct verbage to look like we are.
Proverbs 14:22b, "Those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness." Isaiah 1:24, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen." Isaiah 46:11, What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do."
As the church, we need to plan to succeed, and doing church is not something someone can dictate to us, that we can copy blindly and unthinking. Church, the body of christ, and our faith should be things that we are dedicated to, along with all of the synonyms. I believe that if we lived our faith with that passion and that level of dedication, it would be infectious to those that we came into contact with. When was the last time you saw someone living out faith with ardor or allegiance?
Work and Apartment Great Week! Actually, extremely stressful week, but it's ending amazingly. Saturday my friend Liz(aka Ginger Snaps), got here from Michigan for an 8 day visit. If you're good at math, you'll realize she's leaving tomorrow. I know, that part is sad. But with everything else that has happened this week, having her here has made it ALOT easier to get through. She's my silver lining:-) I applied for a bank loan on Wednesday for a car that would have been an amazing deal. But when all was said and done, I decided it would be better to stay away from a loan. If you know me at all, you'll know how much I completely despise owing money to anyone, in any amount. So, also to simplify my life, I am no longer working at UPS. I talked to my manager at Starbucks and she said I could get 40 hours/week there. So I called my boss at UPS and gave him my two weeks notice. He said it would be ok, and today could be my last day if I wanted it. (HECK yes). He drives me crazy most of the time, and within minutes of getting off the phone I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
Christiann completely surprised me with a visit this week, and I loved it! It made my weekend even better than it was already becoming. I don't think I've ever been so shocked though, Everyone knew about it, and no one let on anything!
Word and Church I've been reflecting abit this past week on youth ministries that I have been a part of. Having entered adulthood not that long ago, I think that alot of youth leaders freshly remember how our faith wasn't necessarily popular, or that sometimes we felt that our leaders were not relevant to our world. As a result, we strive to be relevant to our students. We strive to let them see that we're 'cool' or that you can be a christian and understand the world. Which is true, it is possible. However, sometimes I think that we so strive to build a culturally current relationship with our kids that we forget what it's all about. It's about making Christ relevant. Christianity is not meant to be sub-cultural, it's meant to be counter-cultural. I heard Ed Young(pastor of Fellowship church) say at Hillsong conference that this rut the church has been in, trying to stay current and up-to-date with the style of the world and make the church look in, cool, and with it, is completely off. Should we be aware? ' yes. What we should be doing is building on that though. As God is the one who inspires creativity and gives the gifts that make progress and developement possible, is it not true that His people should be on the cutting edge, that we should be making what is becoming cutting edge? The newest design, the newest technology, the newest techniques should be coming out of the church. And we should be using our gifts and talents to further the gospel, to be a witness, to bring the message of Christ, and to relate him to the world: who is searching for Him constantly. Within all of our own fields of expertese, our giftings and callings, we should be asking how can we bring Christ to others with our gift? How are we being a vessel?
Work and Home UPS has gone really well lately, and I'm really starting to see God open some cool doors, just with the people i work with. Today I got my 1 lb bag of coffee for the week from Starbucks (breakfast blend), and i'm bringing it to Larry at UPS. He's a good guy, probably early 40's, married with a 14-year-old step-daughter. I know it sounds weird, but i'm kind of excited to give him this coffee. Got it ground and everything :-) Starbucks has gone well. I don't have the entire system for every beverage memorized yet, but i can make most of it without direction. The frappuccino's are what I still have to work on, but we're getting there. I'm starting to get names down for the regular customers, or if not that remembering what they do and such, and i love most of them. There are two ladies(who look butch, but i'm sure they're straight) that come in and are REALLY demanding, and always want these two specific chairs, and kind of get in a huff if they're not available, but hey, who hasn't gotten in a huff over a chair??? ok...maybe not many people...especially over the age of 8.
Today while leaving work some of the bikers that hang out every day on our patio in the morning informed me of some not-so-nice news. Texas just passed a law regarding mopeds(my means of transport), requiring them ALL to have registration, tags, plating, and that the driver have a level M(Motorcycle) license, which requires an endorsement here. Just the class to get endorsed is $190. Whatever happened to the devil-may-care-and-cowboy's rule texas? Anyways. This means I will most likely be investing in a car soon. Which costs money that i REALLY don't want to spend on a vehicle at the moment. So please pray that all this is worked out and I find something great at low-cost. It is totally a god-thing that i found out this way instead of getting pulled over and getting a beastly ticket.
Word and Church Well, Freedom Church has a venue! The local Y, which i must say, looks nothing like a YMCA. We're all really excited; we start team services October 3rd, and others are invited to join starting October 17th. And yes, we're a saturday night church. Sunday is amazing when taken completely off. And as anyone that's ever taken ownership at their church can testify, sunday's rarely feel like a day off when church happens that day. I feel like this whole past week, God's really just been showing me to listen to him, and that none of us have to be searching out opportunity to make the body grow: He puts people in our paths. That being effective does require us to have our eyes open to it though! :-) So today, one week after starting at Starbucks, I've already really built some relationships there, and had great convo's with some of the customers. Randall is probably late 40's/early 50's and moved here 5 years ago from Las Vegas. He still tithes to his church in Vegas because he hasn't found a home church here. Guess what church he's going to come check out? Yep. Freedom Church. I tried starting a convo today with one of the bikers that comes in, and felt completely stonewalled. But it was weird, because i felt compelled to keep talking to him and pretend like he wasn't being awkward. So i did. And we all know i love being awkward, so i kep talking a one-sided conversation to his completely expressionless face for a solid 3 more minutes, still with no response. When I got off work at 9.50am, He got up from the buddy-club on the patio and just started talking to me as i was putting my things away in the Ped. We stood their and talked for a half hour. Sometimes when God tells us to act or to speak, and we do it, a little hesitantly, but we do it, and we don't see visible response, it's easy to feel like nothing happened, and the whole thing was completely pointless. It's easy to walk away and not realize that as He works in people, the result isn't always immediately on display. But I believe that as we remain listening to God, willing, and open to people, things will happen. Be willing to invest in people that you don't know. It's been a big challenge to me this week and I think this whole month to let God get me to be a little bit spiritual, and ok with it. That my time with him, and the time he talks to me isn't boxed into my devo time. Hope some of you have felt challenged by this. P.S. I did not ask Randall if he was saved. Nor did I ask any of the bikers if they were hells angels, and if they really knew what hell was. Nor did I try to convict my boss for living with her boyfriend. God works in people. Be normal people! hahahaha, oh....but really.
I'll open this up light, because it's not going to finish that way at all. If you hate those beating around the bush comments, you can b-line across the bush to the Word and Church section of this post.
Apartment/Work Living w/Dawn has been amazing, she's such a blessing to me. It's rained every day straight beginning with last friday, and I'm hoping , ending with today; and that sweetie has driven me to work almost every day I've been scheduled. I'm proud to announce that I have not actually spent a single dime since....last....wednesday(?). Sadly, that's because I don't have many dimes til I get paid(tomorrow, hear angelic chorus of angels, "haaaalelujah, hallelujah, ha-a-llelujah"). Yesterday at work i broke the glass part of a frame that was supposed to be shipped. Yep. I did that. one hour before closing. on my second week in. I broke something expensive. oh. did I mention this frame is about half as tall as me?? So I was spazzing inside, really hoping that I didn't get fired when I got to work at 7.45 thismorning. As a result, I didn't actually fall asleep until about 2am this morning. It was still raining when I woke up, even though the forcast was clear, so i couldn't moped. Nope. I biked to work. In the Rain. and then my tire got caught in this mud-hay mixture covering the road and I completely biffed about a mile away from work, in uniform. Got there at 8pm. My right leg is slightly swollen. good times. On the upside, I did not get fired! And my boss positive-ly called it a "learning experience." I think I might be a slow learner, but I'm catching on....
I also got a 2nd job at Starbucks!!! wooohooooo!!!!!!
Word and Church The Depth. Ok. I've gotten into a few convo's in the past week with some friends, done some word, and this is what i've got. So over the past few years, I should admit that I have felt pressure, and often given into, "Cool" christianity. You know that kind where you don't make people uncomfortable with your faith? Where you become so culturally relevant that the only people you're making uncomfortable are those within the church, because they honestly don't know where you stand? And I'll admit that I've had this thought: It doesn't matter, I'm building relationships with the right people. Maybe this little word or comment with shake the church out of their polo shirts and khaki pants. We try so hard to be able to relate to culture that we stop relating Jesus to our culture, instead we just...match out culture, and listen to some christian bands, or carry a bible around and underline a few things. But what we're really doing is watering down our faith enough so that the world doesn't notice to much that it's supposed to be fire, and we don't have to worry about the flame spreading. What I'm not saying: that we should never try to get into the world. Of course we should be on the level with everyone and communicate well for the lost and those being saved to understand. As Paul said, Be a roman to the romans. What I am saying: If we become so culturally relevant to the world that the church matches it, what counter-culture within the church would the world be attracted to? Our Faith should offend people. But it should offend for the right reasons. Our faith should offend the complacency, self-centeredness, religiosity, pride, and debauchery that is inate to the flesh in us all. Our faith should be a beacon of hope, of change, and of relationship w/Christ to all. To those within and with-out The Way. Have we become so cool that we're luke warm?
My hope is that we don't become so afraid of being crazy-spiritual that we lose all connection with those things that are spiritual. My hope is that we regain a passionate, wild-fire faith that is revolutionary. I pray that as we follow Christ, we find what true faith looks like, and spread it to the world.
Well, it's not a completely new life, but sometimes it feels that way. This past week I got a job at UPS, and started training, and had an interview at Starbucks. I know, it's actually been almost 2 weeks, but can you forgive me this one time? So, this is going to be a little time-line for you about how life has gone.
Work- Has been amazing! My boss Jeff is great (did you ever know UPS is franchised? I didn't....). At one location I've been working with the morning crew Kathy(50's, half asian...i think) and Kelly(early 40's, total soccer mom). I decided I'm going to call Kathy "Edna" because she looks exactly like the little costume maker in The Incredibles. I work at two locations, one is just under a mile away, and the other is a whopping 3 miles away. I know, I was going to be hardcore and bicycle to work, but then I got given a moped. Did you read that? A family friend down here just up and gave me a moped! So that's been great, it's blue and silver, and one of these days I'll post a picture of me riding it so you all can see how awesome it makes me look. I also get 100/120 miles to the gallon. I filled up Sunday night with $1.90, and I haven't even used a quarter of the tank. Thankyou Jesus!
Living Arrangements
Dawn(the roomie) arrived here on saturday night, late, and we stayed up for a while unpacking, and then she stayed up longer unpacking even more. This week I decided I like her, she's pretty cool. We went to Ikea, and bought a vacuum off a guy for $15 from Craigslist. We made salad, I got her to like snacking on Kalamatta Olives, and I think she might be plotting to try and make me like Walmart. Ugh. I shouldn't even capitalize that name, they don't deserve it. All in all though, it's been good.
I started a group of paintings I'm going to do for the apartment of what we'll call The Solids. C.S. Lewis is finished, and Mother Teresa has began. Coming are Winston Churchill and Einstein, if you have any idea's, please feel free to contribute. They're all black and white portraits. So, I'm excited for that. And we're planning on painting a tree on one wall, and leaves on the wall under the bar in the kitchen. But that will probably be later.
Word and Church
I've finished 2 Peter and James this week. James 1... 19...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral flith and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which CAN save you. 22 DO NOT MERELY LISTEN TO THE WORD, AND SO DECEIVE YOURSELVES. DO WHAT IT SAYS....25Those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continue in it- not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it- they will be blessed in what they do.
My prayer is that as the church we find ways to better ourselves and help the bride become pure. I'm not saying that we're perfect, I'm saying that we are blemished. The prayer is that instead of merely realizing that there is something off in the way that we function as a church, in word or in deed, that we find and utilize the remedy. That we encourage eachother not only to deep thoughts, or being different, but that we encourage eachother to restoration, to being revolutionary in the way that we live, and towards living as Christ intended. I pray that when we speak to eachother and to the world we speak with truth, love, and passion.
As a church this week, we're nearing the realization of a few things, which is exciting. There's a new possibility of a building, that I'll share when it's worked out. Bonnie Ruth, Teresa, and I worked on gift baskets this week for area fire and police departments. It's amazing the reaction we've gotten when we dedicate TIME to the community, not just cut a check. It's caring, hands on. And as spiro weird I think this sounds, it's amazing how many doors are opening, relationships unfolding, and just unexplainable favor that we're seeing.
To those of you who have written me letters, or messages on facebook, or tagged me in your notes, Thankyou. I love knowing what's happening, and being included in what's going on within all of you; struggles, thoughts, and dreams. Love ya's!
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